Ahhhhh…the fear of rejection. Yep, seems like no matter where you are, the fear of rejection hitches a ride and waits for you to feel good about yourself and the strides you’re making in life, work, and in business, just to slam you back into that space of “feeling like” you are not the right fit for the assignment, acceptance, or reward.
Fear of rejection makes you believe that no matter what you think, you are not going to get that client, you won’t get that contract, and no matter what you do or how nice you are, “they” won’t like or accept you.
You are not alone. No matter who you are, no matter what position you hold, and no matter how much money you have, the fear of rejection is riding shotgun in your mind. Every human on the planet battles with fear of rejection at one time or another in their life. As entrepreneurs, fear of rejection is one of the most impacting factors that can adversely affect you while on your business building journey.
So, what is fear of rejection” anyway? There’s a name for fear of rejection, it’s called anthropophobia. Fear of rejection is the internal feeling of being afraid of not being approved or accepted by others.
For many women entrepreneurs, the fear of rejection makes them doubt themselves; as a result women entrepreneurs feel that changing themselves (their hair, the way they speak, how they show up, and even what they do), will be more pleasing to and more accepting by others.
Below is a short list of some common traits that relate to having a fear of being rejected:
- Being a people pleaser.
- Remaining in unhealthy relationships (family, friend, and intimate)
- Saying “yes” to everyone’s request.
- Afraid to ask for the “win-win”.
- Lowering prices to please people
- Wearing your emotions on your sleeve
- Afraid to show up in new places with unfamiliar faces
- Afraid to ask for the buy.
- Taking the blame for what others have done to you.
- Dumbing yourself down just to make others comfortable
Does anything on the list above apply to you?
Where does fear of rejection come from? Fear of rejection stems from being rejected (not chosen or unwanted). Whether the rejection stems from parents, siblings, intimate partners, or outside experiences, like not being chosen to be the lead in the school play, not getting into that sorority, or being fired from a job that you wanted or loved, being rejected does not feel good and in order to avoid the feelings of being rejected, people will do all they can to avoid getting into situations that they believe will only lead to them being rejected or unwanted.
What can you do to overcome your fear of rejection? Here’s a list of tips and ideas that may be able to help you:
See a Seasoned and Skilled Life Coach or Licensed Therapist. If your fear of rejection is getting in the way of your personal development and growth, that's a big problem. You can certainly benefit from talking to someone who is trained and able to guide you, creating life strategies to help you, day by day, become surer of yourself and less overwhelmed by what you think-others are thinking about you.
Rejection Redirection. Change the way you think about what others may or may not be thinking about you. Start telling yourself that what is for you is for you and that there is no such thing as rejections, there’s only redirection. Continue to work hard and go for the opportunities that come your way. When you believe differently, you’ll move different and you’ll get different results.
Write Fear of Rejection A Letter. Be honest with yourself. Face what you fear. Talk to the roots of why you have a fear of rejection. Release yourself from carrying this fear, based on what someone else has done to you. You’ve done nothing wrong. You get to be happy in this life. Get it all out of inside of you. Write it all down. Most times when something becomes stifling for us, it’s because we have not had an opportunity to pour out all of the junky stuff. Healing can’t exist in a hellhole.
Keywords and Pictures. When that fear of rejection rears its ugly head, have key words that you can speak out loud and have pictures in your mind that motivates you and lifts you up into what’s possible for you, rather than bringing you down.
Fear is normal. You are not alone and there's nothing wrong with you. You can overcome fear of rejection by forming new habits in how you view yourself, your value, and what you deserve. Overcoming your fear of rejection will not cure itself overnight. Undoubtedly, you've had years, if not decades, to allow "stuff" to fester inside of you. Give yourself some grace. Write down the outcomes you will like and set realistic and attainable self-development goals that you can work to achieve, everyday.
Feel free to print these graphics and pin one or all of them up in spaces where you need reminders and motivation.
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